Poor Grammar, Sophomoric* Statements, and Stupid Thoughts

*sophomoric • \sahf-MOR-ik\ • adjective: conceited and overconfident of knowledge but poorly informed and immature. From a combination of the Greek word "sophos" (meaning "wise") and "moros" (meaning "foolish").
[Source: Merriam-Webster Online]

If television and radio are as pervasive as we believe, it is appalling that the media doesn't present English at its best. Apparently, the lowest common denominator is the basis. (As in advertising: know your target market.) I make plenty of grammatical mistakes, but I am not a professional in the news media.

While attending the University of Cincinnati, I began an unofficial college newsletter to help students become aware of an unannounced -- but seemingly inevitable -- joining of two departments. In searching for reporters to prepare articles, I had a rude awakening: articles submitted with "you know" and "like" sprinkled throughout. I could not believe a college student wrote a sentence in that way! How did that moron get into college?!

President Obama does not have command of the English language as I'd been led to believe and yet  we made fun of President Bush, but too many people make far greater faux pas every time they open their mouths to speak. This assertion includes me. Today, I am less shocked by misuse and error by professionals, but found it was interesting (and therapeutic) to list a few of them . . .

WORST MEDIA GRAMMARIANS in Denver, Colorado (TELEVISION)
KDVR Fox 31. As evidenced by too many journalists in both print and electronic media in the United States, English proficiency is NOT a prerequisite for a journalism career. Nearly the entire news reporting staff fails in his presentation of American English. Actually, I'm not sure who passes* at this station -- let me know. (BTW the use of "his" in this description is not a gender-specific use of the word.)

BEST MEDIA GRAMMARIAN in Denver, Colorado (RADIO)
Mike Rosen, 850KOA AM You may not agree with Mr. Rosen's politics or his "abrupt and curt" dismissal of callers that can cloud the message he is trying to convey, but his respect for grammar and word usage is generally commendable. (That is, except for his use of "v" instead of "versus for "vs." and pronunciation of "mathematics" and his addition of and "h" after "s" in words like straight (shtraight) - see below as well.)  Mike may not be the best representative of gramnmarians, but he trys and now-and-then features a grammarian on his radio program.

MY TOP PICKS:

GRRRRRRR! A change? / mispronunciation
1/2 the newscasters, it seems, and even our President kept saying "in-aug-errr-ation." It is pronounced: innau-gyour-ation." It would appear the new president has not much better grammar skills than the old one. All hail the chef! (oops)

SHAME SHAME SHAME . . . and a man of his purported intellect. / sophomore mathematics
George Alexander "Alex" Trebek of the popular TV gameshow "Jeopardy" insists on on pronouncing sophomore with the middle "o" distinctly pronounced (soph-O-more). It is correctly pronounced in the United States without the middle "o" (soph-more.) Of course, if he is still a British subject (Canadian), then his pronunciation is acceptable and can be overlooked. In that vein . . . he also prononces mathematics as math-a-matics instead of the American pronunciation math-matics. Unfortunately, a lot of pseudo cultured American nouveau intellects pronounce these words as if they were in the British Isles. As with many grammatical aberrations, American psuedo-intellectuals in the United States have felt it elevates their perceived societal standing to pronounce the "e." Actually, it simply demonstrates their lack of grammatical sophistication to those who are truly the intellectuals.

POOR PHRASING

• "THE EXACT SAME . . ." / THE DOUBLE POSITIVE
  Does this redundancy sound familiar? Do advertising executives always target the lowest common denominator? Yup. ur concidert to have a pritty low IQ: sumwar 'tween 80 and 90*, I spôz.
  (*a ranking known as "Dull Normal")

MISPRONUNCIATION

• ACCEPTABLE / "ASSEPTABLE . . ."
  Cockney Jo Frost on the ABC reality TV show "Super Nanny" incessantly uses this word throughout the hour long program! Sure she's British; but gad, her favorite word* is (at least in Americanized English) pronounced "ak-sep-ta-bl." (*acceptable - gad) Who says "asident" instead of "ack-si-dent?"
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• ACCESSABLE / OR TAXABLE
  "If you can reach it, you may have it because I made it 'assessable' to you." Similar problem: it is pronounced "ak-sess-é-bl." (double gad)
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• ACCURATE / NO TIME FOR THE CURE
  "That boy is 'acrit' at foul shots."
  Okay, this one is simple grammar gone awry. (Ak-cure-it or "accurate.")
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• AMBULANCE / SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET HURT
  "AM-BAH-LANCE." OR "AM-BLANCE." Two very common mispronunciations among non-linguistically inclined individuals. Again, another Latin derivative: from "ambulare." AM-bhyewl-ance.
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• CABINET or CABINETRY
  I'm so tired of the psuedo-intelligencia mispronunciation of American English words: the "i" is silent!
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• CAREENED / OR JUST FLAILING
  Jeff Kingery who used to be the Colorado Rockies baseball announcer on 850KOA AM radio in Denver, Colorado insisted on saying "karened" (as in the female name) instead of "careened" (as in to lurch or swerve while in motion) when broadcasting the Rockies baseball games. I can't help but believe he was been informed numerous times of this faux pas, but he insisted on this mispronunciation.

• ESPRESSO / TOO MANY COFFEE BEANS (espresso)
  We in America truly base our pronunciation of word on words with which we are familiar. "Espresso" isn't part of Midwestern culture. So many of us want a fast hot drink we call "eX-press-O." Oh ,well.
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• IMPORTANT / IMPOTENT
  "Impord-ant." Well, this may be a regional thing -- in the Southern States. I don't understand why it isn't import-ant and easy to say this word correctly.
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• LARYNX / AS BARNEY FIFE WAS HEARD TO SAY . . .
  "larnyx" (Layr-nix) instead of "larynx" (Layr-inks) It helps to get the "n" and "y" in the proper position.
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• MANUFACTURED FOOD FOR THINKING BEFORE SPEAKING
  "The part was 'mannafactured' in Belgium." Certainly, food can be made by hand . . . Duh. In the Book of Exodus manna is compared to coriander seed and described as fine, white, and flaky, with the taste of honey and wafer. However, the word most are intending to use is pronounced man-u-fac-teur-d. (Latin manu factura "making by hand"; from manus "hand" + factura "making", from facere "make".)
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• MISCHIEVOUS / THE DEVIL, YOU SAY . . .
  Not "mis-cheeve-E-ous." Way too many people insist on adding and pronouncing an "e" before the "o." Mischievous mis-chiv- us
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• OFTEN / OFF BY TEN
  The "t" is silent. Oh, we can spell it, alright. We spell this word so well, that it influences the pronunciation: DON'T pronounce the [t]! An exception to the belief that spelling aids in pronunciation. (ofen)
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• OLD GOLD / WELL THEN, GO TO "L"
  "I have a 'Go-den' opportunity." or the TV newscaster favorite: "owed" instead of "old." It's something that can be unlearned, but has its roots in childhood mispronunciation from otherwise grammar-proper people.
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• PSYCHIATRY / "HEAL THYSELF . . .DOCTOR"
  Why did it happen that some educated people determined the preferred pronunciation of "Psychiatrists" (seye-ki-a-tryst) to be "sek-eye-a-trysts?" It's a derivative of the Greek "pysche" (that's "sigh-key"), not the Middle English "sick." Oh, well. I'm a snob about Greek and Latin derivatives.
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• SCHWARTZENEGGER / AHH-NODE
  It's Arnold "Schwarz-en-egger" not "Schwartz-nehger." Arnold may call his adopted State Cow-lee-forn-yuh, but most in the press corps don't even attempt to properly pronounce his name!
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• SUCCESSFUL / "HE IS A 'SUSSESSFUL' MORTGAGE BROKER."
  What in the world causes people to say this word without acknowledging the "hard C!" It doesn't require a degree in English to get this one right. "Suck-sess-full." You'd think this one would be easy. Maybe it's people who had early childhood experiences with a Super Nanny.  (Also see above "accessible.:"
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• SUGGESTION / JUST A THOUGHT
  "At his 'sugestion' [sic] (suh-jest-yun) I made the change." Just another example of ignorance: ignoring the repeated letter. For crying out loud . . ."Sug-jest-yun!"
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• "SPOSED TO" or "SPOST TO"
  Nearly all of us non-blue-breds have said this at one time or another. It's good 'ole slang for "supposed to."

• SUPPOSABLY* [SIC]
  It sounds very wrong: But, thinking about it, I find I am able to suppose it . . . nah! What am I thinking? (*supposedly)
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• TOUR / WITHOUT AN OAR IN THE WATER . . . (tour)
  "We're taking a 'toar' of Europe." Where the hec did they come up with that?! It is a too-er. Perhaps some Gen-X's believed it made them sound more worldly or refined. whoops.
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• TOURNAMENT / JOUSTING WITH RIP TORN
  "The 'tornament' was won by . . ." What was torn? hmmm. too-er-na-ment hence, tournament (See "tour" above, as well.)

• VICE VERSA / OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND?
  Quite simply: it is "vice-ah-ver-sah" and "vice" not pronounced as we would think - as when referring to naughty play. Yes, it is meant to be pronounced via the Latin method of pronouncing every letter. After all: it is Latin.
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• VINEGRETTE / "VINEGAR-ETTE." (A tad sour on the ear.)
  Obviously not spoken by a true connoisseur. No "a" between the "g" and "r." (At least, tread lightly on the "a" sound.) Vinegrette, or more like the French: vinaigrette. (That's "vin-uh-GRET.") Certainly not "vin-ah-gar-eht." Etymology: 19c: French, from vinaigre (vinegar.)
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• WASH / WOOOOSH!
  "I'm gonna 'worsh' [sic] that word right out of my head." Okay: growing up in the Midwest . . . well, yes, I used to say it using the invisible "r." (now I say it more correctly as "wah-shh")
  

MISPRONUNCIATION / POOR SPELLING

• PRESCRIPTION vs. PERSCRIPTION
  "The most widely sold 'perscription' medication on the market." Oh, my: You are, in fact, prescribed (emphasis on "pre") medication by a physician. However, this mispronunciation is as wide spread as the the black death. . . . and this is"per" the drug manufacturers! Though, per the script . . .

MISUSE i.e. lack of understanding

• "THE TOWN WAS NEARLY DECIMATED"
  How often (see #4) have you heard that used as a way to say people were nearly wiped out, when in fact, it means "one of every ten" people was eliminated. (From the Latin, decimare: "removal or destruction of one-tenth." See Online Etymology Dictionary) Now, if the town was annihilated . . .
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• LESS IS NOT MORE
  "Less" is incorrectly used more often the word "fewer." Generally, if you can put a number to it, "fewer" is the correct word: "I have 4 fewer monitors than last year." (i.e. You shouldn't say: "I have 4 less monitors than last year." Conversely, you should say, "I have less time than when I was younger," since saying "I have 10 fewer time than when I was younger" just doesn't make sense!) Trust me: In most cases the test works for using the word "less" or the word "fewer." Unfortunately, Americans are hooked on not using the word "fewer" in any sentence.
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• "OFTEN TIMES . . ."
  Off by ten and sophomoric faux sophistication.  This is from the Office of Redundant Redundancies. Pick one. Not both: It is "often" or "at times." See above item as well . . .
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POOR GRAMMAR

• "I'LL TRY AND [sic] FIND"
  Heard that before? Trying to find is substantially different from finding. Perhaps some media darlings would have done better had they paid attention during English grammar classes rather than doodle on a notepad. They need to "try to find" the time to learn the basics of their craft. Marketing is communicating, but this is definitely to the lowest common denominator.
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• V versus VS.
  Okay . . . this one really grates on me: "Roe 'v' Wade." It used to be "Rowe vs. Wade," but the supposedly enlightened ones don't care about our Latin (as in Roman) jurisprudence linguistic roots. I come to a boil every time I here "versus" being shortened to "vee." ARGGGGH!
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• ". . . AND THE ROCKETS' RED GLARE!"
  What is wrong with the following sentence? The canons [sic] were firing one after another." Okay: I gave you a hint with the red letter. That's correct: the plural of "canon" is "canon."
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• "THE HOUSE IS PERFECT FOR MY HUSBAND AND MYSELF"
  Come on . . . admit it: Many people have no idea when to use me, myself or I. They often resort to incorrectly utilizing the word "myself" hoping to sound refined, appear intelligent, and avoid embarrassment. They truly believe they are correctly using the word! Fortunately, the house is perfect for her husband; himself.
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• "PLURALISM"
  Heard on the Discovery Channel: "The welding team are worried." When good people make a wrong grammatical turn, the result is a dismemberment and incorrect reassembly of the language. Which words go where?! "Team" or "group" refers to a unit or oneness and not a plurality. (The sum of a team or group is 1.) The same is true of "band" and "gang." When people or things are referred to as a unit - as is "the welding team," the correct statement is: "The welding team is worried."

MISCELLANEOUS

• "HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT?" > mind trick
  You wouldn't believe the number of times a clerk has asked me to spell my last name: Williams. It is the third most common surname in the United States. There are nearly 2 million of us, though we follow Smith and Johnson. A salesperson once remembered my name was common, although she called me "Mr. Smith." Then, there are those who insist on leaving out the "s." hmmmm.
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• "IT IS SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE TO PICK ON THIS ONE . . ." > double negative
  Regardless of your attitude, this one is in the dictionary: "irregardless." The "ir" doesn't mean or add a thing, but through usage, irregardless [sic] has been accepted as proper English: An example of how we begin to accept words rather than fight it.
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• "I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE SEEN SUCH SMALL . . ." > stupid statement
  It is odd to say: if it is not redundant, it is at least incorrectly structured. Either you have "never seen such small . . ." or "in your lifetime there have never been such small . . ." The point is, can you see anything that isn't during your lifetime? (That is . . . unless you share the same beliefs as Shirley MacLaine.)
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• THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SICK IN THE NIGHT > misconception
  "Eating organic food is healthier because it doesn't contain chemicals." However, we live much longer now: even with chemicals in our food. (Of course, we get the benefit of salmonella and other bacteria with the organic food.) For this, and similar inconsistencies, see John Stossel's book, "Give me a break." HarperCollins - ISBN: 0060529148
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• "STAR TREK"
  In the past, when people wanted to make sure of my name (Kirk) and asked me for the spelling, I would say "As in Captain." That worked for many years until a sales clerk then questioned: "C?" More recently, people just assume they know the spelling and write down "Kurk." Where in the world is there anyone spelling that first name with a "u!" Maybe I should say "as in the Teutonic for church." Naw. (Teutonic) Kirche, a church. Gaelic, cearcall, a circle, the primitive places of worship among the Celts were round, a symbol of eternity, and the existence of the Supreme Being, without beginning or end. Source: Search for Ancestors.
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• EMPATHY GONE AWRY
  The text below is found in a widely distributed email and purported to be an editorial written by an American citizen and allegedly published in a Tampa newspaper (which one?). Other than the ruse of its origin, it is interesting and not all that stupid a thought.
  
  "IMMIGRANTS, NOT AMERICANS, MUST ADAPT"
  
  I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Americans. However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America. Our population is almost entirely made up of descendants of immigrants. However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand.
  
  This idea of America being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own life-style. This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.
  
  We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language!
  
  "In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.
  
  If Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from.
  
  This is OUR COUNTRY, our land, and our life-style. Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion and we will allow you every opportunity to do so. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag, our pledge, our national motto, or our way of life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great American freedom, THE RIGHT TO LEAVE."
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"Why poor grammar ain't so bad." Article by BBC News Online's Ryan Dilley.
Visitors since July 2006

Check out Wikipedia for exact historical quotes and other interesting word facts.
Merriam-Webster On-line Dictionary

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